My personal favorite directors, ranked

That thing I did the other day (day? week? month? what is time anymore) going through my favorite films of all time was a lot of fun for me to do, so I’m just going to keep going in that vein and rank my personal favorite directors. Will it be 52 directors, like it was for films? No. It shall be 24. Why 24? Look man I don’t know that’s just how many I wanted to write about. So here. Here are some directors I really like, plus their best film, my favorite of their films, the best moment in one of their films, and why they rule. Enjoy.

24- Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger

Image result for the archers powell and pressburger

Best film: The Red Shoes

Favorite film: The Red Shoes. That’s just why they’re here.

Best moment: The titular ballet sequence in, you guessed it, Black Narcissus. No, wait. That was in Red Shoes too.

Why they rule: I deliberated for a while (like 45 seconds) on whether or not the archers deserved a spot on this list. This is due to the somewhat inconvenient fact that I have only seen two of their films, Black Narcissus and, uh, what was the name of the other one? Anyway, the reason they are here is that both of those films just happen to be complete masterpieces (although one is more so than the other), and I’m in love with their style. Jack Cardiff’s glorious technicolor cinematography combined with absolutely brilliant writing, ingenious characters, and gut wrenching emotionality makes them an easy sell to me. I’m constantly wanting to watch more of their stuff. And seriously, look at this. From 1947. This is a Jack Cardiff appreciation post now.

Image result for black narcissus cinematography

Unfair. And those are all from the one that ISN’T an earth-shattering super-masterpiece. Just a regular masterpiece.

23- Brian De Palma

Best film: Blow Out

Favorite film: Blow Out

Best moment: “Now that’s a scream”. From Blow Out.

Why he rules: Blow Out. I’m not even kidding. De Palma is not on this list if it isn’t for the absolute legendary film that is Blow Out. Now, if I had just seen Blow Out, he also wouldn’t be here. It helps that his greatest achievement and one of the greatest achievements is buttressed in his filmography by the likes of Scarface, The Untouchables, and Carrie. The style and sheer cool that exudes from these films is ridiculous. Robert De Niro’s indelible Al Capone. Carrie’s prom meltdown. Just everything about Pacino in Scarface. The amount of iconic stuff in De Palma’s films is unparalleled, even from movies that are not Blow Out.

22- Jean Renoir

Best film: You know what? With all due respect to his consensus masterpiece The Rules of the Game, Grand Illusion is better.

Favorite film: Grand Illusion.

Best moment: Either the prison break in Grand Illusion or the very final scene in A Day in the Country.

Why he rules: Renoir’s films are both deeply affecting and continually relevant in terms of social commentary. His recurring themes are some of my favorite to talk about- the irrational division that runs through his work is his reaction to what he viewed as a society that bred it. Each of his films can be read as a rallying cry against conformity. They’re beautifully shot, immaculately performed, and decidedly austere punk rock. His masterpieces leave you absolutely reeling, struggling to fully comprehend the greatness of what you’ve seen. Absolutely singular.

21- Bong Joon-Ho

Best film: Parasite

Favorite film: So, so, sorry Okja, but it’s Parasite. Gee, the fact that this is the fourth straight one in which they were both the same is really undermining the point I wanted to make about how indisputably great The Red Shoes is.

Best moment: Parasite’s peach sequence. Although I have to give a shoutout to the scene Snowpiercer in which Chris Evans, through sobs, talks about how great babies taste. Cinema.

Why he rules: Oh I’m sorry, did I write Bong Joon-Ho? I meant to write FOUR TIME ACADEMY AWARD WINNER BONG JOON-HO. If you want proof of Bong’s greatness, go watch his Oscar speeches. See what a great and likable person he is. Then go watch one of his angry, dark, oppressively sad masterpieces. Impressive duality. Anyway, Bong’s four (FOUR!) Oscar wins couldn’t have happened to a more interesting or deserving director. His tone hopping and genre defying films are unlike anything. They’ll make you laugh, they’ll make you cry, they’ll instill you with both raw societal dread and the sensation of watching a truly flawless work of art. And come on. How can you not love someone who says things like “Perhaps this is something the western audience could also take part in” when talking about subtitles. Plus, his preferred movie seat choice is back middle, which is objectively correct. What a god.

20- Francis Ford Coppola

Best film: uuuuuuggggghhhhhh. Apocalypse Now.

Favorite film: The Godfather

Best moment: Ooh. Going against the balcony scene in The Conversation feels wrong, but there’s absolutely no other answer besides the climax of The Godfather, in which Michael’s murders of his opponents are intercut with a scene of him baptizing Connie’s child.

Why he rules: The greatest run in cinematic history? Churning out The Godfather, The Conversation, The Godfather 2, and Apocalypse Now back-to-back-to-back-to-back is the kind of unfathomable and unmatched achievement that earns FFC a place among the all time greats, even if he’s done little to nothing since to back up that placement. That 70s streak produced four of the greatest films in American history, and ones that I adore. Special shoutout to The Conversation, easily the weakest of the four masterworks, for containing my single favorite theme in cinematic history.

19- Hayao Miyazaki

Best film: Spirited Away

Favorite film: Spirited Away

Best moment: Princess Mononoke’s climactic battle is stunning.

Why he rules: The very best at what he does (yeah present tense, don’t try to tell me he’s retired). Miyazaki is anime’s most well-known director for good reason. His films can be uplifting, like the sublime Kiki’s Delivery Service, or devastating, like the brilliant Princess Mononoke. Or they can be remarkable, unbelievable combinations of the two, like in his masterpiece Spirited Away. Angry and wonderful simultaneously, Miyazaki’s work is is incredible, that of a truly complete artist. One of the true visionaries, and the rare one who, you get the sense, executes his vision to its full extent.

18- Steven Spielberg

Best film: Schindler’s List

Favorite film: Jurassic Park, or maybe Catch Me If You Can. Or, you know, Jaws.

Best moment: Saving Private Ryan’s opening D-Day sequence is rightfully legendary. The rest of the movie is also great, even if the ending is dumb.

Why he rules: I feel like Spielberg is one of the biggest reasons for my love of film. Loving Jurassic Park when I was younger was one of the first times I truly loved a movie. Seeing things like Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan when I had started to realize my movie obsession further cemented it. Stuff like Minority Report and Catch Me If You Can makes for great recent first watches I can never believe I hadn’t seen sooner. Spielberg’s work is immortal, it’s universal, and the thing that gets lost in his celebrity is that he’s brilliant.

17- David Cronenberg

Best film: The Fly, right? Objectively, I think yes, but Videodrome feels so much like the quintessential Cronenberg to the point where it deserves a mention here.

Favorite film: Eastern Promises

Best moment: That bath house fight in Eastern Promises. That’s a type of filmmaking I had never seen before and haven’t since.

Why he rules: Yeah, he looks like the type of weirdo who makes this type of movie. Cronenberg’s films are aggressively visceral, marked by an obsession with flesh, bloodshed, humanity, and how these all connect. These are tough films to watch and tough films to analyze, but they are so rich and so entertaining. The Fly is an absolute masterpiece of horror that also happens to be an operatic melodrama (which he did turn into an opera). Videodrome is gross as hell, but the whole point is that it’s gross as hell, it’s a commentary on being gross as hell. A Cronenberg film is levels of meta upon meta, it’s deeply layered and imbued with meaning. These are not films for everyone, but they are beautiful in a perverse, broken way.

16- Yorgos Lanthimos

Best film: The Lobster

Favorite film: The Lobster

Best moment: I can’t pick one single moment from The Lobster, although the ending is pretty ridiculously great, or from The Favourite, so my pick is from The Killing of a Sacred Deer. It’s the scene where Colin Farrell blindfolds himself and lets fate decide the solution to his problem.

Why he rules: Lanthimos is an unclassifiable weirdo who makes unclassifiable weirdo movies. They’re so shot through with uncomfortable and dark humor, pervasive melancholy, and such a singular oddity that they’re easy to love if you like weird movies, which I do. A Yorgos film is a strange occurrence. They’re brilliant mood pieces that relate to no mood known to man. They’re just remarkable. In certain instances, nothing hits the spot quite like Lanthimos’ work. Plus, the man made The Lobster, one of my absolute favorite films.

15- Claire Denis

Best film: Beau Travail

Favorite film: U.S. Go Home

Best moment: THIS IS THE RHYTHM OF THE NIGHT.

For real let’s talk about this freaking scene. This has no business being as masterful as it is. It’s just Denis Lavant dancing ridiculously, to a bad song, in a way that goes completely contrary to the slow and serious tone of the film. And yet it works. It’s absolutely unforgettable. It’s a perfect ending to a perfect film.

Why she rules: Denis is a definite artiste, a filmmaker whose work is so difficult and inaccessible that it really does make sense that she isn’t widely popular. But oh my god is she great. Her films are ones that refuse to leave your mind. Their deliberate pacing and decidedly bleak ideology makes them hard to watch, but at the close of one it feels as if you’ve gone through a legitimately religious experience. Her films are so well made, so well acted, and so utterly brilliant. She’s one of the absolute greatest working directors, and her newfound collaboration with Robert Pattinson is a dream pairing. I can’t wait for that next one.

14- Wes Anderson

Best film: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Favorite film: Ooh. Grand Budapest, I think.

Best moment: “Nobody move. Everybody’s under arrest”.

Why he rules: Oh man the style. Nobody ever has been more committed to his or her idiom than Wes Anderson, and it is wonderful. Wes’s films are so highly stylized that even the ones that aren’t very good (hello, Darjeeling Limited) are still watchable and even enjoyable. His cabal of actors are always perfectly suited for the material, the visual perfection is always spot on, and the films are always funny. These are just pure cinematic sugar. They’re fun and wonderful and just great. I don’t get people who don’t like them. Who cares if it’s the same movie over and over again? It’s a fantastic one. I cannot wait for The French Dispatch.

13- Ingmar Bergman

Best film: Persona, but oh man is Wild Strawberries close.

Favorite film: Wild Strawberries, but oh man is Persona close.

Best moment: The opening of The Seventh Seal. Few things are more iconic or just cooler than Max Von Sydow playing chess with death.

Why he rules: Maybe history’s most prodigiously talented filmmaker, Bergman has not one but two films (the ones listed above in best and favorite films) that have legitimate claims to the title of greatest of all time. They’re always fascinating, always flawlessly made, and always unforgettable. A Bergman film is searing and indelible like nothing else. They earn their reputation for heaviness, sure, but that absolutely isn’t a bad thing. Also, the thing nobody ever talks about with Bergman? The humor. The Seventh Seal, the very image of impenetrable foreign film, is actually pretty funny. Bleak and philosophically dense, yes, but fart jokes!

12- Jean-Luc Godard

Best film: Breathless. Duh.

Favorite film: Pierrot le Fou

Best moment: It has to be a dance sequence. Vivre Sa Vie’s pool hall scene is a contender, but although it’s a weaker film, Bande a Part gets the win for the Madison scene.

Why he rules: Pretentious? The most. Obnoxious? Oh totally. Genius? One hundred percent. If Bergman’s films are the stereotype of boring foreign films, Godard represents the stereotype of weird arty nonsense, of French films just being people smoking cigarettes, of whatever. It’s hard to talk about why I love Godard without sounding like I’m just buying into the image, but the films really are the image. They’re entertaining, they’re breezy, they’re as fun to watch as they are brilliant in their casualness. The lightness with which Godard characters throw around philosophy is the same attitude with which Godard himself does. It’s rare to see a filmmaker who so philosophizes through his characters. Godard’s worldview is so omnipresent in his work that it’s impossible not to fall for the blend of style and substance, even if the style really is the substance.

11- The Coen Brothers

Best film: Fargo

Favorite film: The Big Lebowksi

Best moment: “What’s the most you’ve ever lost on a coin toss?”

Why they rule: I have seen 14 films by Joel and Ethan Coen and there isn’t one that I would describe as anything less than great. Yes, I haven’t hit the bad stuff, still no Intolerable Cruelty or Ladykillers, but I genuinely love the ones I’ve seen. This includes, by the way, Hail, Caesar!, which is a genuinely fantastic film that people hate because they hate fun. And the highs are so incredibly high: Big Lebowski, No Country, and Fargo are stone cold classics. A Serious Man is almost among that group. Raising Arizona, Miller’s Crossing, and Barton Fink are incredible. Add in the fact that the lower level stuff is tremendous and you have one of the most balanced and consistently great filmographies ever.

10- Stanley Kubrick

Best film: 2001: A Space Odyssey

Favorite film: The Shining

Best moment: It doesn’t get much better than the opening of A Clockwork Orange. The slow pull back, the eerie voiceover narration, the industrially hellish score. It’s the most flawless moment from a career full of them.

Why he rules: There’s not much to say about Kubrick that hasn’t already been said. He’s the greatest visual stylist ever. He was a purveyor of epic narratives that fall into a genre entirely of his own making. His films are experiences, every one of them. They’re also entertaining, impeccably made, and obviously remarkably influential, in addition to possessing a totally marvelous atmosphere that is paralleled by nothing else in existence. It’s Kubrick. What more can I possibly say?

9- Akira Kurosawa

Best film: High and Low (caveat: I have yet to carve out three and a half hours for Seven Samurai. Soon.)

Favorite film: Ikiru

Best moment: Ikiru. In the snow.

Why he rules: A master entertainer, flawless craftsman, and general eternal legend, Kurosawa’s influence can be found in a few things. Like, for instance, every western and also Star Wars. The samurai stuff is all ridiculously fun, and yet it’s beaten by the remarkable contemporarily-set work he turned out on occasion. Ikiru and High and Low are the two best of the films I’ve seen by a lot (and this is no small statement considering how incredible Rashomon is). These are stunning achievements, ones with brilliant social commentary, gripping emotional stakes, and perfect craft. Every single frame of High and Low is an impeccable composition. There’s no point in Ikiru where it’s anything less than fully heartbreaking or wonderfully triumphant, often at the same time. Kurosawa’s work can range from testaments to the human spirit to super entertaining samurai thrillers, and it’s all wonderful.

8- David Lynch

Best film: Mulholland Dr.

Favorite film: Muholland Dr.

Best moment: Mulholland Dr.’s dumpster hobo! No but for real it’s Dennis Hopper’s first appearance in Blue Velvet.

Why he rules: The weirdest of the weirdos on this list by far. Not just in terms of the films, although Eraserhead alone would take that title. Lynch is a bona fide strange man, this is clear if you’ve ever seen him talk. Or if you’ve seen the delightful short recently dropped on Netflix, What Did Jack Do?. Lynch’s absurdity is half of why he’s so brilliant, the other is simply how good he is. He’s formally brilliant, and a perfectly tailored writer for furthering the purpose of his oddness. All of his craft is geared towards this end, towards making sure that this weirdness is supported by good enough quality to stand on. He has endless imitators, but he’s the only person who can fully nail his style.

7- Paul Thomas Anderson

Best film: There Will Be Blood

Favorite film: Boogie Nights

Best moment: I. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE.

Why he rules: A perfect hybrid of technical brilliance and skill with his actors, PTA is one of our great modern talents, and this is evident in every one of his films. They’re all bold works of art, totally unique and trailblazing originals that feature totally different reasons for their greatness. He’s versatile, with work ranging from sprawling epics to tiny character studies. He’s consistent, turning out masterpiece after masterpiece. He’s important, having made some of the most notable films of his age. And the movies themselves are compulsively watchable as much as they’re able to be studied and analyzed. He’s just relentlessly brilliant. Seriously, who else could’ve made Phantom Thread work as well as it does? Maybe just Scorsese? Maybe not even him?

6- Wong Kar-Wai

Best film: In the Mood for Love

Favorite film: Chungking Express

Best moment: I have no idea how many times on this blog I’ve talked about my love of the ending of Fallen Angels, so this may sounds repetitive, but it’s that.

Why he rules: A totally singular stylist whose films also contain more substance than most other filmmakers could ever dream of. If this list has made nothing else clear, it should’ve indicated that I love directors with unique styles, and Wong is among the very best of the bunch. Bold colors, liberal use of slo mo, Christopher Doyle’s all-time-greatest cinematography, totally unique use of music. It all combines in Wong’s films to create works of melancholy and daring hope, stories that still pop into my mind at random moments. Wong’s work lingers like nobody else’s, and to call that his defining characteristic does a disservice to how wonderful the films are to actually watch.

5- Pedro Almodovar

Best film: Talk to Her

Favorite film: All About my Mother or Pain and Glory

Best moment: The bookending opera scenes in Talk to Her. Technically two moments, but who cares.

Why he rules: Style! Almodovar’s bold and bombastic nature is a breath of fresh air in every one of his films. They’re amazing to watch: they can range in scope from tragic to life affirming, usually spanning the entire spectrum in one film. Talk to Her is one of the greatest films of the 21st century, and Pain and Glory is one of the most religious experiences I’ve ever had in a movie theater. He also displays a remarkable skill with his actors, although it helps that he works with talents as brilliant as the likes of Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas (ROBBED of that Oscar for Pain and Glory). At the end of the day, a film by Almodovar instills a feeling in me like no other, and that’s invaluable.

4- Alfred Hitchcock

Best film: Vertigo

Favorite film: Psycho

Best moment: Come on. Shower scene.

Why he rules: The master of suspense. The first horror director. Hitchcock is incredible because he made films that remain more entertaining and well done than everything that followed. His work is so well known that he’s become the largest household name of any filmmaker from his era. He’s an icon. A legend. An image of the straw man of Old Movies. And deservingly so. The films are remarkable. When he was at the top of his game he was untouchable. Vertigo, Psycho, Rear Window These are strokes of absolute genius. Enduring classics that set the tone for everyone who decided to follow in Hitch’s footsteps. And they are just so fun to watch.

3- Quentin Tarantino

Best film: Pulp Fiction

Favorite film: Pulp Fiction

Best moment: Speaking of scenes I’ve no doubt run into the ground on this blog:

Why he rules: For someone who so shamelessly and openly steals from what has come before him, Tarantino has a way of making his work feel fresh. This is also the case considering he keeps recycling the same basic ideas and styles. This is not a complaint- the man has his niche, he knows he’s great when he’s in it, and he just churns out remarkable entertainment that conveniently doubles as high art under the surface of pulp. He has made films that have been absolutely formative experiences for my love of movies, and ones that I continue to love and watch obsessively. I can’t wait for whatever the hell film number 10 ends up being, as long as it isn’t Star Trek.

2- John Carpenter

Best film: Halloween

Favorite film: CUE THE GODAWFULL MUSIC.

That is the song that plays over the closing credits of Big Trouble in Little China, sung by the Coup De Villes, horror cinema’s greatest rock band (nope. Sorry. Goblin. Can’t believe there was an actual answer). The Coup de Villes were made up of Carpenter himself, Nick Castle (who played Michael Myers in the original Halloween, and Tommy Lee Wallace (who directed, among other things, the legendarily insane Halloween III: Season of the Witch and the possibly nonexistent sequel to Carpenter’s Vampires). All very talented people. Who suck as a band.

Best moment: Oh man. Is it the blood test in The Thing? Is it the ending of The Thing? Is it the ending of In the Mouth of Madness? Is it the dream/vision in Prince of Darkness? It’s actually Roddy Piper’s iconic They Live declaration:

Why he rules: The films of John Carpenter may not exactly be Bergman. There are more sophisticated directors to love. But there are exactly zero who are more entertaining. Every Carpenter film is a relentless good time, whether it’s a horror movie, an action film, or whatever on earth Big Trouble in Little China is. They’re also uniformly well made, well acted, yada yada he’s incredible. I could regurgitate the stuff I’ve said about the formal excellence of every other filmmaker on this list, and it’d all be true, but there’s something about that that’s just unfitting of the master of horror. Carpenter is a king among men, a consistently awesome filmmaker who also happens to compose the (fantastic) scores to his films. Seriously, the only thing as impressive as making Halloween is making Halloween and creating the iconic theme.

1- Martin Scorsese

Best film: Goodfellas

Favorite film (of all time): Goodfellas

Best moment: It really bothers me that there’s no way to type the opening to Harry Nilsson’s “Jump into the fire”.

Why he rules: So we come to the end of the list. A foregone conclusion. The king of cinema. The greatest living filmmaker. The greatest American director of all time. A man who, in addition to creating countless classics, has worked tirelessly to preserve and restore obscure films from around the world. But none of that even matters for the purpose of this exercise. Martin Scorsese made Goodfellas, which is why he’s at the top of this list. The other stuff just solidifies something that I’m not trying to measure here: the combination of endless range, masterpiece after masterpiece, and devotion to the art form makes Martin Scorsese, simply put, the King of Movies. And not one that has to choose between being king for a day or schmuck for a lifetime. An icon deserving of his stature. A living legend who’s still putting out some of the best work we’ve seen from him. The greatest ever.

Every movie year of the 1990s, ranked

If you’ve seen any legitimate percentage of posts on this blog, you will be aware that I love ranking stuff. I also love movies from the 90s. I also love the concept of the best movie years. It’s a miracle I didn’t hit on this sooner. Anyway, since it’s been 20 years and everyone’s reminiscing about it, the question of “is 1999 the greatest movie year ever?” has been asked a lot. The question I ask back is- is it even the greatest movie year of the decade? Maybe. Read to find out.

10- 1991

Essential films: The Silence of the Lambs, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Cape Fear, Beauty and the Beast, The Fisher King, Point Break, Boyz n the Hood, Barton Fink, Thelma and Louise, JFK, My Own Private Idaho, Bugsy, The Doors, Naked Lunch, Jungle Fever

The Silence of the Lambs is the big one here. After that, it kinda peters out. There’s a reason it became just the third film to sweep the big 5 oscar categories. Besides that, there’s Judgement Day, wildly considered to be one of the greatest sequels and action movies of all time. Barton Fink is one of the Coens’ most under appreciated works. Cape Fear is one of the all time greatest remakes and features an elite De Niro role. Oliver Stone had a big year with JFK and The Doors. There’s stuff from Spike Lee, David Cronenberg, the late John Singleton, Kathryn Bigelow, and Gus van Sant. That’s about it, which is still pretty strong considering how easily it’s the worst year on this list

Best Film: The Silence of the Lambs. How many films can spawn a legendary line that isn’t even in the movie, not even as a misquote?

9- 1992

Essential films: Unforgiven, Reservoir Dogs, Malcolm X, A Few Good Men, A League of Their Own, Glengarry Glen Ross, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Scent of a Woman, Basic Instinct, Aladdin, Batman Returns, Wayne’s World, The Crying Game, The Player, My Cousin Vinny, Candyman, Howard’s End, Chaplin, Alien 3.

Despite being one of the weakest of the 90s, some great stuff came out of 1992. Lauded films by Spike Lee, Robert Altman, and Francis Ford Coppola (well at least it’s lauded in relation to most of his other stuff) were released. The best picture winner was Eastwood’s Unforgiven, which has been held up as one of his greatest works. A pair of famous quotes (“Coffee is for closers” and “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH”) and Danny Devito’s Penguin round out the reasons that this is still a great year. But the major thing here is the beginning of the career of one Quentin Tarantino. He broke onto the scene with Reservoir Dogs, an era-defining work and still one of his best films. Another career, that of the great David Fincher, began as well with Alien 3, albeit less auspiciously. You’ll see more of him on this list, though.

Best film: Reservoir Dogs, even leaving the influence of it out of it.

8- 1996

Essential films: Fargo, Scream, Independence Day, The English Patient, The People vs Larry Flynt, From Dusk Till Dawn, Mission: Impossible, Jerry Maguire, Trainspotting, Space Jam, Sling Blade, The Birdcage, Mars Attacks, Happy Gilmore, Romeo + Juliet, Swingers, The Rock, Bottle Rocket, Hard Eight, The Cable Guy, Black Sheep

1996 is notable because there’s a lot that’s entered popular culture due to sheer ridiculousness: see Burton’s Mars Attacks, Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler vehicles The Cable Guy and Happy Gilmore, and of course, Space Jam. This is a great year, not because of the great films, but because of the interesting ones. Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet is one of the weirder Shakespeare adaptations out there, and it also helped launch the career of Leonardo DiCaprio, The Rock is Michael Bay before the Michael Bay-ness of it all got to his head, The Birdcage is a Mike Nichols comedy about a gay couple, played by Robin Williams and Nathan Lane, From Dusk Till Dawn stars George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino, The People vs Larry Flynt is a movie by Milos Forman starring Woody Harrelson as a porn producer. The Mission: Impossible franchise started here, which is worth something, and Trainspotting launched the careers of Danny Boyle and Ewan McGregor. Cuba Gooding Jr won an oscar for Jerry Maguire. This year also saw the debuts of not one, but two legendary auteurs with the last name of Anderson. Paul Thomas’ Hard Eight and Wes’ Bottle Rocket are similarly shoved towards the bottom of their respective outputs today, but they mark the arrival of tremendous talent. The true greatness of this year lies in The Coen Brothers’ dark masterpiece Fargo and Wes Craven’s seminal (for better or for worse) Scream. Both movies are unique and original in tone (well, Scream was until they made 3 sequels and a million unofficial remakes) and carry this year.

Best Film: It’s Fargo, but the temptation to go with Scream just because is hard to resist.

7- 1993

Essential films: Schindler’s List, Jurassic Park, The Piano, The Fugitive, True Romance, Demolition Man, Mrs. Doubtfire, Groundhog Day, Dazed and Confused, Philadelphia, A Bronx Tale, Carlito’s Way, The Age of Innocence, Short Cuts, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Coneheads, Super Mario Bros.

The inclusion of legendary classics Coneheads and Super Mario Bros help 1993, but despite these enduring masterworks, the year belongs to Stephen Spielberg. The man made his greatest, most soul-crushing work and one of his most exhilirating, dinosaur-oriented classics in the same year. That’s incredible. He deservedly took home Best Picture and Best Director for Schindler’s List, miraculously beating out Coneheads auteur Steve Barron (I had to look that one up). This year also features the likes of Robert De Niro’s directorial debut A Bronx Tale, Altman Resurgence staple Short Cuts, Jane Campion’s acclaimed historical drama The Piano, and Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, which is notable for being one of the only Linklater films set over a rational period of time. True Romance is fascinating: written by Quentin Tarantino, directed by Tony Scott, and starring the likes of Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Val Kilmer, Dennis Hopper (who’s also Bowser in Super Mario Bros.), Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Samuel L Jackson, Christopher Walken, and James Gandolfini. Scorsese and Daniel Day Lewis teamed up to adapt Edith Wharton. Leonardo DiCaprio earned his first critical attention for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Groundhog Day is one of the funniest movies ever and it’s one of three contenders for the best Bill Murray performance (Caddyshack and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou). I left a lot out of that write up, but at least I got to make my jokes about the Super Mario Bros movie.

Best Film: Super Ma- Schindler’s List. I meant Schindler’s List.

6- 1998

Essential Films: Saving Private Ryan, The Thin Red Line, The Big Lebowski, American History X, The Truman Show, Rushmore, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Antz, A Bug’s Life, Armageddon, Deep Impact, Shakespeare in Love, Blade, Out of Sight, There’s Something About Mary, Pi

1998 is a year of doubles. Two famous war films in Saving Private Ryan and The Thin Red Line. Two movies about space rocks coming to destroy earth with Armageddon and Deep Impact. Two talking ant movies in A Bug’s Life and Antz. That’s a strange list. Darren Aronofsky also debuted with Pi and Edward Norton established himself as a force to be reckoned with in American History X. Steven Soderbergh made one of his most renowned films in Out of Sight. Rushmore is the first true Wes Anderson film and still one of his best. It also gave us the line “OR they?”, which is a gift to mankind. The Truman Show features one of the most prominent Jim Carrey Dramatic Roles and also Ed Harris. The guy who directed There’s Something About Mary also did the most recent best picture winner, so blech. Now here are, in rough order, the top 10 quotes from The Big Lebowski, with no explanation.

10- What do you mean I brought it bowling, dude? I didn’t rent it shoes. I’m not buying it a f**ing beer. He’s not taking your f**ing turn, dude.

9- Is this your homework, Larry?

8- Nice marmot.

7- Obviously, you’re not a golfer.

6- Eight year olds, dude.

5- Mr Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

4- Careful man, there’s a beverage here.

3- You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

2- It’s a league game, Smokey.

1- He fixes the cable?

Best Film: Lebowski. If you’d say Saving Private Ryan, which is truly a great film, then that’s just like, your opinion, man. Sorry.

5- 1990

Essential films: Goodfellas, Miller’s Crossing, King of New York, Misery, The Godfather part III, Ghost, Dances With Wolves, Edward Scissorhands, Tremors, Jacob’s Ladder, Total Recall, Home Alone, Pretty Woman, Wild at Heart

Before I get to the fact that this is indisputably the greatest year in gangster movie history, let’s go over the other stuff. Misery is a great adaptation of an incredible book that features some of the best casting (and acting) of all time. Edward Scissorhands is one of the Burton-est Burton movies, which is a good thing. Wild at Heart won David Lynch the Palme d’Or. And now on to the gangster movies. Goodfellas is maybe the best movie in the history of the genre, in addition to being perfect in every single possible way and the best movie in the history of the world (I like this movie). King of New York is a wonderfully bats**t piece of absolute art that I also love and will totally write more about. For now I’ll leave it at this- it treats Christopher Walken as a leading man, which is rare but awesome, it’s the most stylized damn thing in the universe, which is also awesome, and I spent the entire day after I first saw it wondering if it was actually that good or if I was just tired. I decided that it is, in fact, that good. Miller’s Crossing is the third major gangster movie, which is the Coens’ only foray into the genre. It’s brilliant, complex, and it contains a scene of Albert Finney gunning people down from a burning building while Danny Boy plays. A perfect film. The final major gangster movie is, of course, The Godfather III, which is significant in that it is a Godfather movie. The renaissance of such a fantastic genre is what carries 1990 to its position, but it’s kept here by the rest of the year.

Best Film:

4- 1997

Essential films: Titanic, L.A. Confidential, Good Will Hunting, Boogie Nights, Happy Together, Jackie Brown, Face/Off, Con Air, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Lost Highway, Amistad, Gattaca, Scream 2, Grosse Pointe Blank, As Good as it Gets, Batman and Robin, Starship Troopers, Men in Black

Titanic won every Oscar known to man and made 6 trillion dollars. Whatever. On to the good stuff. L.A. Confidential is history’s greatest police movie (I will absolutely fight anyone on this). Boogie Nights is history’s greatest porn movie (by which I mean movie about porn. I also don’t foresee having to fight anyone on this one). Happy Together is one of Wong Kar-Wai’s darkest films, and also one of his most haunting and excellent (if you don’t know that name, learn it- he’s gonna come up a lot in the upcoming paragraphs). Jackie Brown is admittedly minor Tarantino, but it’s still an excellent film. Lost Highway is admittedly minor Lynch, but it also contains these two scenes so all is forgiven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdIlLn52Oak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDilD3wAxt8

Austin Powers is one of the funniest movies ever made. Scream 2 is the only valid horror sequel. Con Air and Face/Off harken back to an era when action movies had intriguing premises. Batman and Robin gave us Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mr. Freeze.

Best film: Boogie Nights. It’s Anderson’s best work, and as much as I love L.A. Confidential, I love Boogie Nights slightly more.

3- 1995

Essential films: Seven, Heat, The Usual Suspects, Braveheart, Toy Story, Apollo 13, Clueless, 12 Monkeys, Casino, Billy Madison, Leaving Las Vegas, Jumanji, Tommy Boy, Before Sunrise, Fallen Angels, Sense and Sensibility

Or, The Year That The Academy Shafted The Actual Best Movies And Opted For An Insane Best Picture Slate That Included Freaking Babe. That was the original title, but they thought it was too long and so they changed it to 1995. For real, Seven, The Usual Suspects, and Heat were all famously shut out of the category, so they had to give it to Mel Gibson. Toy Story would’ve been a better choice, by a lot. 1995 also contained 12 Monkeys, a Terry Gilliam movie based on a famous experimental short film composed of still images. Casino is the one bad Scorsese movie, but the muffin scene is funny so there’s that. Linklater kicked off his legendary Before trilogy with Before Sunrise. Wong Kar-Wai made Fallen Angels, which is essentially a sequel/continuation of Chungking Express that also happens to be awesome. Tommy Boy is so good. Seven is Fincher’s first real movie, and contains one of the best endings ever. The Usual Suspects is weird to talk about now, given director Bryan Singer and star Kevin Spacey, but it really is a great movie. Billy Madison is the best Adam Sandler comedy.

Best film: Seven. Pitt’s performance in the finale might be the best acting of his career.

2- 1994

Essential films: Pulp Fiction, Chungking Express, Quiz Show, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Lion King, Clerks, Forrest Gump, Natural Born Killers, Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, Ed Wood, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

This is a lot of people’s pick for the greatest movie year ever, and that’s not at all a crazy statement- it’s certainly up there. The sheer quality of the stuff towards the top solidifies it in the top 5 or so. It does kinda peter out after the first few, but it maintains quality enough to get to this point. Pulp Fiction and Chungking express are singular, inimitable masterworks from some of the greatest auteurs of all time. The Shawshank Redemption owns. Quiz Show also owns. Leon contains the best Gary Oldman performance. Forrest Gump… is here. The Lion King is one of the greatest Disney movies (and arguably the second greatest Shakespeare adaptation, after Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood). This was also the year Jim Carrey made it big, with the trifecta of Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Best Film: Pulp Fiction. But man, it’s tempting to go with Chungking.

1- 1999

Essential films: Fight Club, Being John Malkovich, Beau Travail, The Matrix, American Beauty, The Sixth Sense, All About My Mother, The Blair Witch Project, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Office Space, Magnolia, Bringing Out the Dead, The Green Mile, The Short Story, The Insider, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Yeah, this is the winner. The Matrix changed Sci-Fi forever, The Sixth Sense launched the career of M Night Shyamalan (which only Haley Joel Osment can see now OOOOOOH BURN), Office Space is hilarious, and Being John Malkovich is a glorious piece of gonzo awesomeness that is one of my favorite movies ever. Spectacular work in foreign films as well- the legendary Claire Denis delivered Beau Travail, her masterpiece, and Pedro Almodovar was in top form with All About My Mother, one of his warmest, sweetest films and a straight up classic. Acclaimed films from directors such as Mann, PTA, Scorsese, and Lynch. The first Star Wars prequel came out. The Blair Witch Project is bad but it started a trend of a zillion other bad movies (found footage horror is a cancer) and made a ton of money because it lied to market it so I guess it’s Culturally Significant.

The two key films to understanding 1999 are American Beauty, the year’s best picture winner about how everyone sucks but everyone is also good at heart and so they all go to heaven, and Fight Club, David Fincher’s cult classic about a society gone to hell. I’ve written at length on my feelings on American Beauty and its falsehoods, misconceptions, and general crappiness, and I probably will again. The thing that gets me about these two films is society’s conception of them. Fight Club is seen by many as something endorsing the kind of actions seen in the film (both by people who want to see it that way and by people who are disgusted by it). American Beauty seems like it’s making fun of its subjects, until it becomes clear that it’s actually supporting them (why does this movie have to suck so much it makes me sad). The movie that is actually a satire gets no credit for it and the one that’s depressingly not is considered as such. And that’s the one that took best picture. Weird year. But an important one.

Best Film: There’s so much here and a lot to be said for and against it all. So let’s call it South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.